Love & Hate (Book One: Hate) Read online

“Cutter?” I ask totally confused.

  “Who the fuck is this? Your boyfriend?” Gym Rat demands as he releases me.

  “No.” That’s all I can manage to choke out before Cutter comes up next to me and grabs my forearm dragging me off the porch with him. He yanks me down the hallway after him. He pushes me inside a dark room and closes the door. I’m sure Gym Rat’s head is still spinning from what just happened because I know mine is.

  “What the heck Cutter? What are you doing here?”

  “I could ask you the same thing, Paige. You know for having a boyfriend you were getting pretty friendly out there with that guy. I don’t think Jasper would appreciate that type of behavior.” He is pissed. Oh hell no. What right does he have to tell me how to act or try to make me feel guilty. This guy is one of the biggest jerks I know.

  “What are you talking about? I can do what I want. You are not the boss of me Cutter Daniels.” I place my hands on my hips. Take that jerk face!

  “I am talking about the fact that you are sleeping with one of my best friends and I don’t think he would appreciate it much if his girl was fucking someone else.” He growls angrily. Okay, now I am pissed.

  “First of all, I was not fucking anyone and secondly Jasper and I are not together. We broke up.” Now who looks confused? What a moron.

  “Since when? Jasper didn’t say anything to me about you two breaking up.” He still looks totally angry.

  “We broke up the day before I left for school.” I state coolly.

  “Well regardless, you shouldn’t get drunk and let some guy be all over you. It’s not attractive.” Okay, I can’t believe I am still getting a lecture from Mr. Morality over here.

  “What do you care what I do?” I decide to ask the obvious question.

  “I don’t. But I promised Jasper I would keep an eye on you. I said I would make sure you were safe.” He says coldly almost like he resents it.

  “Well you can tell Jasper I don’t need a babysitter. And I certainly don’t need one as rude as you!” With that I turn on my high heels and start to storm out of the room. But Cutter is quicker than I am. He slams the door shut with one hand and pushes my back against the door. He crashes his hands down on either side of my head against the door, effectively caging me in.

  “This is how it’s going to go Princess so listen up. I will not tolerate you coming into my house and causing drama. That shit isn’t going to happen here. Do you understand me?” Oh I caused the drama? Fuck this.

  I can feel the rage in him. He is shaking. I need to get the heck out of here and fast before this really gets out of hand.

  “You know what? Screw You! I only came here because my sorority was having a mixer. If I had known this was your house I would have never come here. I hate you!” I scream back at him.

  “Good” is all he says with a sigh and drops his hands releasing me. I quickly find the doorknob and fling the door open. I run down the hall. Maybe college isn’t going to be much different than home.

  A couple of days later I decide to call Tess and tell her about my horrible first fraternity party.

  “Paige, I just don’t understand. What do you mean Cutter Daniels protected you?” Tess is totally confused on the other end of the phone.

  It has been almost a week since my run in with Cutter. After I ran out of that room he had me trapped in, I left the party and walked home to my dorm room. Probably not the smartest move but I needed to be alone to think.

  “He just came out of nowhere Tess and pulled me away from this total jerk that was pawing all over me.”

  “That makes no sense, why would Cutter care what you are doing, or what happens to you for that matter?”

  “He says it was because Jasper asked him to keep an eye on me.”

  “Well I guess that’s good, right?”

  “Yeah I suppose it was nice of him to intervene when he saw I was in trouble, but he was so pushy and rude about the whole thing. He acted as if I embarrassed him.”

  “Oh please, Cutter Daniels can get over himself. He has always been such a dick and a total manwhore. Paige you need to just stay away from him. Don’t let him ruin your good time, okay?”

  “I’ll try. I am going to avoid his frat at all costs.” I tell her solemnly.

  “Good plan. So speaking of plans what are you doing for the long weekend? School starts for you after Labor Day, right?”

  “My sorority is going on a rafting trip on the Snake River over in Idaho. It’s a tradition I guess. And a lot of the sororities and fraternities will be there. We are rafting all day and then camping out at night. I’m really excited for it. We leave this afternoon. I’m kind of bummed though I have to come back early. My Dad called and says he bought a new horse for me to look at. So I am leaving Saturday. Everyone else comes back Sunday night.”

  “That sounds like tons of fun! I am jealous. I think I’m going to just be a beach bum all weekend and see if I can’t catch me a nice surfer boy.”

  “Well don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” This is what I always say to Tess because we both know I don’t ever do anything.

  “Oh I plan on it. Love you lady. Be safe and don’t drown on me, I couldn’t handle that.” She says teasingly.

  “I promise to be safe. Love you too.” I hang up the phone, finish packing and head over to the sorority.

  CHAPTER 4

  The drive to the Snake River in Idaho takes about two hours. I rode in a large SUV with a bunch of girls from my pledge class. The entire ride we discussed how excited we are and how we hope our raft guides are hot. I arranged to share a tent with a pretty red headed girl named Millie. She was really nice and she had horses at home so we spent a lot of the drive talking about horse stuff.

  When we arrived at the launch site we met our river guides, and oh man they were all very good looking. The guides divided us into groups of six or seven. They went over all the safety items with us and then we started loading our gear into the rafts. I was a bit nervous because I had never rafted before. I was reassured when our guide told us there weren’t any large rapids just baby ones.

  We floated down the river for most of the day. Several times we have all jumped out to swim. It is over 100 degrees outside and the river feels great. Most of the girls in the boat opted to wear skimpy bikinis the entire trip. I however, chose to wear a black swimsuit cover up that looked more like a short black halter dress. I sat in the back near our guide and chatted with him off and on all day.

  His name is Tanner and he is a junior. He is tall and has a rich dark tan from being a raft guide all summer. He has the prettiest green eyes, they are almost haunting. He is bald but not in an unattractive way. I have never really been into the whole bald headed guy thing but Tanner has changed my mind. His bald head suits him. It also helps that he has a phenomenal body and doesn’t feel the need to wear a shirt. I can tell he is more mature than a lot of his peers. He told me he is in fraternity at school. He indicated that he isn’t there much though because he works as a raft guide and also as a bartender at the local bar. I like him, he seems to be very genuine and that is refreshing to be around.

  At about seven that night Millie and I finally got our tent all situated and we went to eat some dinner with the rest of the group. The shore of the river is littered with tents. There are several bon fires going with lots of music and laughter. Other sororities and fraternities are camping on the same shore as our group.

  I have found myself a comfy seat and was just about to take a bite of my hamburger when I hear the undeniable voice that makes my spine stiffen. Damn it. What is Cutter doing here? I look across the bonfire and see him. He is sitting in a lawn chair with a skinny brown haired girl straddling him. He is drinking whisky straight from the bottle and is seemingly unaware that he has a bikiniclad girl in his lap. I watch the bikini girl work overtime to get his full attention. Well there goes my appetite!

  I stand up and start to maneuver between chairs so I can relocate to a Cutter-free zone when I a
ccidently kick over someone’s beer sending it tumbling across the rocky riverbank. I immediately start to apologize to whoever’s beer that was; when much to my relief Tanner’s hypnotic green eyes meet mine.

  “Oh no worries Paige. I was almost done with that one.” He tells me reassuringly.

  “I’m sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was walking. Do you want me to grab you another one?” I am totally embarrassed at my clumsiness.

  “No that’s okay. Why don’t you sit down and hang out for a bit.” He suggests.

  “Uh no thank you. I am beat so I’m probably just going to head to bed.” I really have no intention of going to bed. I actually just wanted to go for a walk and get away from Cutter.

  I don’t know what possesses me to do it, but as I turn to walk away I look over at him. He is now sitting straight up in his chair and is staring right at me. He still has bikini girl on his lap but he has moved her to the side a bit so he can get a clear view of my embarrassing moment. Great, just what I need is Cutter to see me make a total foul of myself. As I walked away I feel his cold eyes on me and I’m positive he is making fun of me.

  I have been walking down by the edge of the river for what seemed like just a few minutes but my watch told me it has been well over two hours. I am enjoying the peacefulness and tranquility of the river. The shimmering water is lit up perfectly by the huge full moon that hangs in the sky. Frogs are croaking along the banks of the river and once in a while I can hear a fish jump. I decide I should start walking back towards the tent when I feel his presence. I know its Cutter without even looking. The air around me becomes thick with electricity and I feel like shivering. Crap, what am I going to do now? Should I turn around and face him? Maybe if I just stand perfectly still he won’t notice me.

  “What are you doing out here by yourself?” He asks in his dark brooding tone.

  I turn and face him. His baseball hat is pulled too low so I can’t quite see his face. “Umm walking.” Yeah that’s the best response I have.

  “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

  “Yes. I wasn’t bothering anyone I was just walking.” Seriously, what is his problem?

  “I didn’t say you were bothering anyone. I just asked if that’s a good idea.” He clarifies.

  “Whatever. Cutter I’m not going to play games. What do you want?” I am totally over his crap and him interrupting my peaceful walk.

  He doesn’t respond he just stares at me with grin on his face. I start to walk away from him choosing to try to ignore him instead.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’m going to keep walking.” Geezzz what is with this guy? Why does he care what I’m doing?

  He hurriedly begins walking next to me. I stop and just look at him. What the heck does he think he is doing?

  “Can I help you?” He is really starting to piss me off.

  “No… I just thought you might want me to walk with you.” Okay totally weird.

  “Uh sure, if you want to.” I have no clue what he is doing but at least he is being somewhat nice. So we begin walking down the beach.

  It feels like an eternity before he turns and asks me “Are you having fun at school?”

  “Yeah I am.”

  “Do you miss home?” Now I guess we are going to chit chat. Okay get a hold of yourself Paige you can do this just breathe.

  “Yeah I miss home. I miss my family and I really miss my horses.” I tell him honestly.

  “I can understand that.”

  “What about you? Do you miss home?” I ask him in return. Why are you playing along with this insanity?

  “Some days I do, but I’ll be going home a lot.” He slows a bit and I slow down matching my pace with his.

  “Yeah same here, I’m actually leaving tomorrow morning to go home.” I have no idea why I just told him this.

  “Me too, I have to go home for the weekend before school starts. Are you driving home?”

  “No I’m going to fly. My parents wouldn’t let me have a car here.”

  “That’s got to be expensive. Not that it matters to you.” Oh great, here we go. Let the rudeness commence.

  “Yeah well it wasn’t my choice.” I snap back.

  He doesn’t respond and we just keep walking side by side along the river bank. After a few minutes Cutter turns to me and says “why don’t you ride with me.” Is he crazy? I try to scan my brain for a reason that isn’t totally rude. I come up with nothing.

  “Why?” Okay that was only half way rude.

  “Well there is no reason for you to fly when you can just catch a ride with me. Plus the flights out of Pullman are really unreliable. Many times they just get cancelled.” Double crap. Should I go with him? Would it really be that bad? I really do want to see this new horse my Dad bought and I know Cutter is right about the flights.

  “Okay if you don’t mind.” I am so dumb. This is going to go down in history as one of the dumbest decisions I have ever made.

  “Great, we will leave here at seven in the morning.” He gives me the same grin as earlier. That grin gives me a shiver that runs down my whole body.

  “Are you cold?” Cutter asks after apparently noticing my reaction to his grin.

  “No I’m okay, but maybe we should head back.” I tell him trying to ignore the fact he is causing my body to involuntary spaz out.

  As we walk back to the tents we chat more about what we like so far about college. It is surreal having this easy moment with him. It almost makes me forget how horrible he has been to me. Well almost.

  When we get close to the bonfires, I sense a change in Cutter. He seems rigid all of a sudden when just moments ago he was totally relaxed and talkative.

  When we get to the tents he looks at me and says “Don’t be late Paige. I will leave without you.” And with that he walks off toward the fire. Shit, this is going to be a long ride home with Mr. Moody Pants.

  CHAPTER 5

  I wake up at six just to be sure I have all my stuff packed and ready to go. Heaven forbid I get left behind and have to fly home like I originally planned. I am sitting outside my tent with my bags when I notice the tent across from me start moving. A mousy brown haired girl pops her head out.

  “Cutter, stop it. I have to go!” She says laughing. Excellent, I just witnessed Cutter Daniels’ bikini girl doing the walk of shame from his tent. Should I go back inside my tent? I don’t want him to see me. But I don’t want to disturb Millie any more than I already have.

  As I’m sitting there freaking out in my head trying to decide if I should move or not, Cutter emerges from the tent. His eyes land right on me burning holes through me. “You ready?”

  I nod my head yes. I’m sure my mouth is practically hanging open. How freaking awkward!

  “Good. You can go throw your stuff in my truck it’s over there. It’s unlocked” He points behind all the tents to his big black Ford truck. I quickly gather my things and shuffle over to his truck.

  “Who the Hell is she Cutter?” Bikini girl demands.

  “Just a girl from home, she needs a ride home so I’m helping her out.” Umm… that’s not totally true. He asked me to ride with him but whatever.

  “Well I don’t like it.” She whines.

  “I don’t give a shit what you like. It’s none of your business what I do. I explained that to you last night. This was a onetime deal.” He tells her flatly not even looking at her and gathers his things from the tent.

  “Maybe I can change your mind about that.” She purrs. Oh gross I don’t want to see this.

  “I doubt that.” He says with a huff and starts walking straight towards me. I quickly spin around and continue loading my stuff in the truck, pretending I wasn’t totally watching their intimate exchange.

  “You’re a prick Cutter Daniels.” She yells at him. Well bikini girl isn’t totally stupid after all.

  “Get in.” He growls at me.

  I did as I am told and climb up into the passenger side of the truck. This
should be a really fun six hour ride home. Tess would skin me alive if she knew what I was doing right now.

  We rode in silence for the first couple of hours of the drive. After what felt like an eternity Cutter finally turned on the radio in the truck. He put on his favorite station which seemed to be mostly country and some classic rock. I stared out the window of the truck watching the rolling wheat fields go by.

  After a little bit Cutter began to quietly sing along with Toby Keith’s Shut Up and Hold On song. He has a deep raspy voice that has an edge to it. I enjoy listening to him sing along to song after song that comes on. After a while I find myself singing with him.

  I just started really getting into Tom Petty’s Free Falling. It is right in the middle of the free falling part and I am really belting it out. That’s when I notice Cutter has stopped singing, so I glance over at him. He is staring at me like he is in utter shock. He probably is. I can barely make a joyful noise. How totally embarrassing! I immediately stop singing and start starring back out the window again. He reaches up and turns the radio off.

  “So why are you going home anyway?” He asks breaking the horribly awkward silence.

  “I’m going home to look at a new horse my Dad bought. Why are you going home?”

  “I figured I should go home to help my Mom and Cooper on the farm. This is the first week they have had to manage everything without me.” He says quietly.

  “I’m sorry.” I instantly feel horrible for bringing this topic up. I know better. Cutter’s Father had died many years ago when we were just children. Emerson Daniels had died on my family’s farm while delivering a load of hay. Two massive hay bales fell and crushed him to death. Since then life for their family has been difficult to say the least. Most of the work on the farm has since fallen to Cooper and Cutter. I guess I hadn’t thought about what a sacrifice it is for Cutter to actually be at school. They depended on him at home.

  “It’s okay. It was a long time ago.” He says solemnly. The vibe in the truck instantly is dark and uncomfortable. You need to do something and quick.