Love & Hate (Book One: Hate) Read online

  “So is that girl from this morning your girlfriend?” Yup, total word vomit, great solution. Why did I ask this question?

  He laughs. “No. I don’t have girlfriends Paige.”

  “Oh” is all I can muster after his flat response.

  “So tell me, why did you breakup with Jasper.” He gives me a sideways glance.

  “We both didn’t want to do the long distance thing. It was mutual.” Well, that’s partly true.

  “I doubt that.” Wait he doesn’t believe me? That is kind of annoying.

  “It’s true, you can ask him.”

  “I have.” Oh crap, what was Jasper telling people?

  “What did he say?” I am totally curious now.

  “That you broke up with him.” Oh man, now I feel bad. Is Jasper really hurt?

  I choose not to say anything back and attempt to pretend this conversation isn’t happening.

  Cutter must get it and changes the subject. “Are you coming to the field party tonight when we get home?”

  “No I don’t think so. I just want to relax and see my family.” I tell him. “Are you going to be there?” Stupid question Paige, of course he was going. He always goes to those parties.

  “Yeah I’m going straight there after I drop you off.”

  “Well if it would be easier to drop me at the party I could probably catch a ride home with someone.”

  “No I’ll bring you home.” He answers and then turns up the radio signaling our little heart to heart is now over.

  We make it to Ellensburg in pretty good time. We are officially half way home and Cutter pulls into a truck stop to gas up.

  “Oh hey, here let me get the gas. It’s the least I could do since you are driving me home.” I grab my wallet to get wad of cash my parents left me with.

  He looks at me but doesn’t respond for a long moment. “I don’t want or need your family’s money Paige. Keep it.” With that he jumps out of the truck and slams the door shut. What the hell? I was just trying to be nice. Well screw you too.

  We get into Seattle right at rush hour, which means we are going to be stuck for a while. I am just hoping it isn’t hours. After a while my cell phone rings. It is Lacey.

  “Hey Chica, when will you be home?”

  “Oh I don’t know we are stuck in Seattle traffic right now.”

  “How is the drive going with Mr. Hottie McDaniels.” Holy crap I hope he can’t hear her, she was practically yelling through the phone. I knew I shouldn’t have texted her and told her I was riding home with Cutter.

  “Fine” is all I say.

  “Well hurry the hell up because we are going to the field party tonight and I’m waiting on you.”

  “I don’t really feel up to it Lacey. I’ve been on the road all day and camping before that.” I am trying my best to get out of this.

  “Nope, you’re going. End of story. I will wait for you to shower and get ready.”

  “Fine but you owe me big time for this.” I am such a sucker.

  “Oh and Paige, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do with your hot driver.” She yells through the phone. I’m sure Cutter heard that. I think half the people in traffic heard that. Damn Lacey, she can be so embarrassing sometimes.

  I sneak a glance over at Cutter to see if he was paying attention, praying he wasn’t. Much to my dismay he has his signature wicked grin on his face but he just keeps looking forward at traffic. Yup, he totally heard all of that. Lacey is dead meat!

  It is around seven at night when Cutter pulls into the long driveway the leads to my parent’s farm. He parks in the driveway and jumps out to help me with my bags.

  “Thank you so much for the ride Cutter.” I say to him.

  “You’re welcome” He doesn’t even pause to look at me. He jumps back into the truck and takes off. I watch as he drives down the driveway thinking about what a strange situation this has all become. Maybe Cutter and I just had a mini breakthrough.

  CHAPTER 6

  Lacey and I pull up to the field party and as usual it is packed. A giant bonfire is of course going in the middle of this field. There in clusters of people sitting in the beds of their trucks listening to music. As we walk up to the party I spot Cutter directly across from us talking to a group of girls. I don’t know what possessed me to do it, probably sheer stupidity. The second I see him I lift my hand up and wave like a crazy person. He does not reciprocate; in fact he just ignores me. Wow, how awkward. Luckily Lacey didn’t notice my craziness and just continued to walk next to me.

  “There’s my girl! Gosh I have missed you!” Out of nowhere two strong hands lift me off the ground and spin me around. I know it is Jasper. Doesn’t he remember we are broken up? Why was he acting like this?

  Before I can tell him to put me down his lips are on mine. The second it happens I hear a loud crash from a beer bottle being thrown into the fire. I look over where Cutter is standing just in time to catch him stalking away through the crowd. Now what is his problem?

  Jasper sets me down and I push back from him giving him a look of disappointment.

  “I’m sorry, I was just happy to see you.” He says to me.

  “I know Jasp but we aren’t together anymore. You don’t get to just kiss me like that.” I look at the ground not wanting to see the hurt I know I am causing him.

  “Is there someone else already?”

  “No, there’s not. But that’s not the point. We aren’t together, okay? You are a dear friend to me but you can’t just man handle me that way.” I say looking up at him.

  “Okay, okay I get it. I’m sorry.” He pulls me into a bear hug.

  Lacey and I stay at the party until it starts to thin out. I actually had a pretty good time minus the awkwardness with Jasper. I never did see Cutter again after he stormed off, which I’m kind of thankful for.

  Lacey and I walk to my Range Rover and I start to get in when a hand grabs me out of the darkness. I know exactly who it belongs to the instant I feel their touch. It sends a jolt of electricity all the way through my body. There is only one person that has ever had that effect on me, Cutter.

  “Paige?” He comes to stand next to me. He lightly pushes me against the side of the car and one of his big arms rests on the other side of my head against the car. Oh shit!

  “Yes.” I say breathlessly.

  He pauses for a moment like he is fighting with himself. Then I see something change in his eyes. He takes a deep breath. “Remember don’t be late on Sunday. I will leave without you.” With that, he turns and walks off.

  “Holy shit what was that all about?” I hear Lacey ask wide eyed from the other side of the vehicle.

  “I have no idea.” I tell her honestly as I start the car.

  “Shit, I thought he was going to eat you or something. That was hot!”

  “Lace, I don’t think it is anything like that. I think he hates me and is just trying to be nice but it’s hard for him.”

  “Oh it’s hard alright.” She says making us both bust out in a fit of laughter.

  “So what do you think of him?” My Dad asks me as I walk around on a magnificent two year old Paint horse named Dexter. He is a dark liver chestnut with minimal white markings except for four high white socks and a couple of cute belly spots. His face has a perfect blaze and he has the longest forelock I have ever seen.

  “I really like him. I think once he grows into himself he will be really sharp.” I tell him excitedly.

  “When Titus saw him, he said we had to have him. So he brought him home from the show in Utah.”

  “Well I’m glad he did. I think he is breathtaking!”

  “Good, because I plan for him to be your new all-around horse.”

  “Are you serious Dad? He looks like he will be an amazing money earner. Are you sure you don’t want to just keep him as an investment?” On the farm we keep most horses as just straight investments. They are typically young horses. We buy them as babies, train them up and then sell them for a profit. It is cr
azy that Dad is thinking of giving this one to me. He will make more money if he sells him young.

  “Nope, Titus and I picked him especially for you.”

  “Thank you so much Dad! I don’t know what to say this is an amazing gift. I love him!”

  “You’re welcome sweetheart. Now maybe you can get that world championship you have been chasing all these years.” I have won four National titles with The Biz but I have yet to win a world title. Dexter may just be the horse to get me there. It will take years of hard work for both of us to become ready, but he has the look and the raw talent. “Well you better get in the house and get ready to go. When is that Daniels boy going to be here to pick you up?”

  “Oh shoot yeah I need to hurry. Cutter will be here in an hour.” I say panicking a bit.

  “You run along and I’ll have Dex put away for you.” He tells me as I climb down from my new horse and hand my Dad the reins.

  “Thanks Dad!” I yell back over my shoulder as I hustle out of the barn. I better not be late or Mr. Moody Pants will leave my ass.

  I am packed and waiting on the front porch when Cutter’s black truck pulls into the driveway. I had begged my parents to stay in the house for this because it was hard enough to deal with Cutter on my own, let alone introduce him to my nosey parents. They reluctantly agreed but I am sure my Mother is staring out the kitchen window watching us.

  I start walking toward the truck as it comes to a stop in front of the house. Cutter gets out and grabs my bags and tosses them in the back.

  “Are you good to go?” He asks as he walks with my stuff.

  “Yup, all ready.” I say as I jump in the passenger side. As soon as Cutter gets in he turns on the radio and doesn’t say another word.

  I can feel him thinking from across the truck. He occasionally sings along to country songs when it suits him but other than that, he says nothing. Currently he is humming along to Luke Bryan’s I Don’t Want This Night To End. I watch him in total awe. Cutter isn’t just good looking he is totally freaking handsome. He has an edginess about him that is incredibly appealing. Just holding the steering wheel I can see all the muscles flexing in his forearms. I bet he looks like a total Adonis naked. Whoa, get it together Paige and stop ogling him!

  “Can I ask you a question?” He asks out of nowhere bringing me out of my lustful day dream.

  “Sure.” I am super curious as to what he is going to ask me.

  “Do you love Jasper?” He asks bluntly. Whoa, that was out of left field! How am I going to answer this?

  “That’s not really your business.” I say trying to deflect the question.

  “No it’s not my business but I asked you anyways.” He says not caring I am totally freaking out. Okay, I’m just going to tell him the truth and see if that appeases him.

  “I love Jasp but I’m not in love with him.” I say staring out the window.

  He looks over at me and I turn to meet his eyes, he doesn’t say anything in response just gives me a curt nod. I have no idea what that was about. I assume he is trying to see if I’m just stringing his friend along and is looking out for him.

  After a while we fall into an easy rhythm of chatting and listening to the radio. We talk about our majors and our goals for the future. I tell him how I have always wanted to be an attorney and plan to attend law school after I graduate. He shares with me how his major is in agricultural education but that it isn’t necessarily his dream career path. He tells me how he wants to build hotels, which totally surprises me. In a million years I would have never guessed he would want to do something like that. After listening to him talk I can tell he is really passionate about it. I know though he will give it all up to return home and help his family. We discuss his family’s hay company and their farm. He tells me about the plans he has to help grow the company further than their current regional buyers. I instantly understand how smart and driven he is. It makes me happy for him because I know he will be successful in whatever he chooses to do. As I listen to him talk I begin to realize I have completely underestimated him. Cutter has the complete ability to steal my heart regardless of whether my feelings are reciprocated.

  “Paige, wake up. We are here.” Cutter whispers softly. I am in the middle of the most delicious dream starring the one and only, Mr. Cutter Daniels. Things were just getting interesting when I feel someone trying to gently shake me awake. I moan and try to snuggle back into the corner of the passenger seat.

  “You need to wake up darling.” Well, that settles it, I’m still dreaming because Cutter would never be caught dead calling me darling. The only endearment he has ever uttered to me is Piggy Princess. Just to make sure I am actually dreaming I squint my eyes open to find him staring right back at me with a predatory smile on his face. He is leaning over the center console and has his hand gently rests on my arm. Holy hell, I hope I wasn’t talking in my sleep. I can feel my cheeks turning fire engine red. I quickly avert my eyes looking at the floor in the truck.

  “I’m sorry. How long have I been asleep?” I finally mutter.

  “You fell asleep about two hours ago.” He says with that grin still plastered on his face.

  “Oh, I hope I didn’t bother you.” I say embarrassed.

  “You didn’t bother me Paige, but you may have distracted me.” He says quickly as he gets out of the truck. We are parked at our dorms. I guess I have really been out of it. I hadn’t even noticed we pulled off the highway. Cutter carries my bags for me as we walk toward the dorms main entrance.

  “Well thanks for the ride. I had a good time.” I tell him as I try to grab my bags from him. I need to get away from him so I can rehash this horribly embarrassing moment we just shared.

  He refused to relinquish my bags and says “I’ll bring them to your room for you.”

  “Okay, thanks.” This is all so weird.

  When we arrive at my room I open the door and he proceeds to go inside and deposit my bags in the middle of the floor. But instead of leaving he continues to just stand there. I stand by the door awkwardly not knowing what to do or say.

  “I want you to know something Paige.” Cutter says as he looks toward the window across from him.

  “Uh … Okay, what?” What the heck is he doing? What does he want me to know?

  “We shouldn’t hang out.” He says coldly still refusing to look at me. Welcome back Mr. Moody pants. We were having a perfectly nice time and now he has to ruin it. Great! I’m pissed and way too tired to deal with his craziness.

  “Fine, whatever”

  He finally turns to look at me. “It’s for the best.”

  “Yeah I’m sure it is. Well thanks for the ride and brining my bags up to my room.” I am attempting to play this cool but my hurt is coming out. Maybe he would just take a hint and leave so I can mentally obsess over everything that has just transpired.

  “You will see.” He says and then just walks out closing the door behind him. I stand there for a long time, frozen from the complete shock of what just happened. I should move, go unpack or call Tess but I can’t. I feel numb. I don’t know why this is so upsetting because it wasn’t like we were great friends to begin with; heck we were more like mortal enemies. I guess I just had hope, and hope is not something you should have when dealing with a complete asshole like Cutter Daniels.

  CHAPTER 7

  I have been at school almost a month and I love it. My classes are challenging but I enjoy them. It took me a while to get into a grove of studying. The first week I felt totally lost and was stressed that I was the only one feeling that way. But by my second week I started using the study tutors at the sorority, which really helped me get my barring’s. I am becoming more thankful every day I joined a sorority. It is nice to have people to sit with in class and study with after. I can see now that the sorority is more than just a social organization; it is more like an instant support network.

  I have also become increasingly close with Millie, the red headed girl I shared a ten with on the raft t
rip. Millie is probably the funniest person I have ever met and for sure one of the most genuine. Millie is stunningly gorgeous. I tell her all the time she looks like Nicole Kidman but she just scoffs at me in denial. Millie doesn’t care what people think about her, she is utterly carefree. We are constantly getting in trouble at chapter meetings and at study tables for laughing. We have a blast together. Millie gets me. She understands I’m not carefree like her and she has accepted this as a challenge. She is insistent that I need to just calm my ass down and let things be, or at least that’s what she is always telling me. I know I’m lucky to have made such a good friend in her.

  I decided to confide in her about my Cutter Daniels experience. She listened to the whole story never interrupting or judging me and at the end she looked at me and told me I simply had two choices; sleep with him or slap him in the face. This made me double over in laughter, thinking she was joking. But no, she was dead serious. She didn’t seem to promote either choice but she is fully convinced Cutter has some sort of feelings for me, what feelings she doesn’t know.

  I don’t know either. I have thought a lot about the things that have happened. I keep going over in my head the entire ride home with him. How we seemed to have come to some non-verbal agreement to be friendly with one another and put the past behind us. It makes no sense how we could go from talking about our career goals and life dreams for hours to not being able to be friends in a single instant. I also keep thinking about how I thought I heard Cutter call me darling when he was trying to wake me up. I’m guessing that is all just in my head. I must have dreamt it. But whatever the truth is, it doesn’t matter. I haven’t seen or heard from him in over a month.

  I hear a knock on my door. It is Monday morning and I am just headed out for my ten o’clock class. I look through the peephole and I see Katie One’s ridiculously bright smile staring back at me. I open the door.