Love & Hate (Book One: Hate) Read online

  I chose not to acknowledge her statement and change the subject. We chit chat for a minute about school and then I proceed on through the crowd to find Cutter. I don’t get far because Tanner catches my arm.

  “Happy Birthday!” He yells and wraps me up in the biggest hug picking me off the ground.

  I laugh at Tanner’s excitement. “Thanks Tanner, but can you put me down. I can’t breathe.” I squeak.

  Tanner sets me on my feet. “Sorry.” He says through his big smile.

  He is dressed in a Captain America outfit with neon blue tights and all. He even has the freaking shield. It is for sure one the best outfits of the night. I love Tanner, he makes everything fun.

  “Love the tights.” I tell him through my laughter.

  “Oh you like these huh?” He says doing a little strut.

  “Oh I do and I’m sure the ladies do too.” I reassure him.

  “We will see my friend! We will see!” He says and takes off toward pack of girls congregating near the front of the room.

  I shake my head and continue toward Cutter when someone snatches my arm. I know it’s not Cutter. I would know his touch anywhere. This was someone I didn’t know.

  “Hey don’t I know you?” I look over to see a stalky shorter guy. I recognize him immediately; it’s Gym Rat. The creepy guy who got all grabby with me on bid night, the guy Cutter had saved me from.

  I start to pull out of his grasp and try to back away from him but he continues to invade my space.

  “Can I help you Chris?” Cutter rasps in a menacing voice.

  “Oh hey Cutter, I was just trying to figure out where I know this chick from.” He says still looking at me trying to place where he knows me from.

  “You don’t.” With that Cutter grabs my hand forcefully from Chris’ and begins walking us quickly toward the stairs of the basement.

  “What the hell Paige.” He says as we climb the stairs. Wait, he is mad at me?

  “What?”

  When we reach the top of the stairs he whirls around to face me. “What were you talking to Chris about and why was he holding onto your arm?” Oh hell no. This was not my fault.

  “I wasn’t talking to him he grabbed me out of nowhere and asked if he knew me. End of story!” I snap back at him.

  “I don’t like you talking to Chris. Not everyone is nice Paige. He is not a good guy, okay?” He huffs in frustration.

  “I didn’t want to talk to him but he grabbed my arm.”

  Cutter lets out a deep sigh. “Okay, just promise me that you will stay away from him.” He looks frustrated but I can see he is trying to fight it.

  “I promise. He creeps me out anyway.” I try to reassure him.

  “Good. I don’t like seeing other guys with their hands on you. I thought I was going to kill him.” He blurts out and fisting his hands in his hair.

  “Cutter…”

  “I know I’m being a possessive asshole but I can’t help it.” He looks at the ground.

  “No, I’m glad you are protective of me. I was just going to say you have nothing to worry about.” I take a step into his space forcing him to look at me. His eyes meet mine and the hunger is back in them. He closes the distance between in one large step. He pulls me by the shoulders and kisses me roughly.

  “Are you ready to go darling?” His eyes are dark and hooded.

  “Yes but don’t you think people will wonder where we are.” I want to leave but it is my party.

  “It’s also Halloween Paige pretty soon everyone will be so drunk they don’t even know where they are.”

  “You’re right let’s go.” He smiles and grabs my hand whisking me towards the exit.

  CHAPTER 13

  Cutter and I reach my dorm room and we barely get inside before we begin madly making out again. We crash into my room, which I’m sure, will wake up the Katies if they are home. I come up for air, tossing my bag back on the desk and kicking off high heels with a thud.

  Cutter sits on the edge of my bed and pulls of his boots. He then starts to unbutton his plaid shirt and I’m awestruck. I watch his perfectly chiseled chest peek out of his shirt as he lazily undoes his buttons. He gets to the last one and tugs his shirt off. I must have gasped because he looks over at me worried. The minute he sees my eyes though he understands why I gasped. Busted!

  He stands up and saunters over to where I’m standing. He reaches up to take off his hat but I reach out and stop him. “No don’t. I kind of like you in a cowboy hat.”

  A very sexy grin plays across his face. “You do huh?”

  I nod. That grin alone makes me weak at the knees. I feel the familiar butterflies take flight in my stomach.

  “Well I’ll tell you what I like. I like this dress. It is very sexy. But I’m afraid it must go.” He says slipping a finger under the strap of my dress pushing it down my shoulders. He slips under finger under the other strap pushing it down as well. My dress instantly drops to the floor, pooling around my feet. I am now standing completely naked except for my lacy black thong and matching black strapless bra. Cutter groans in appreciation.

  “I’m glad you approve.” I tell him.

  “Oh I more than approve baby.” He says and reaches up behind me undoing my bra. I suck in sharp breathe when he bends down kissing one of my breasts. I love when he does this. It drives me insane. He begins to palm my other breast and I feel like I may just loose it having him touch me this way.

  “Okay, its bed time.” Cutter abruptly stops and takes a step back from me.

  I let out a little whimper as the cold air hits my very wet breasts. “Fine” I manage to say before I stalk off toward my closet to get my pajamas. He loves doing this to me. I swear he enjoys teasing the hell out of me.

  When I emerge from the closet he has my covers turned down and the lights off except for my bedside lamp. “Hop in Paige.”

  I climb in and pull the covers over me. This is our little routine. It has become our cat and mouse game. Cutter works me up and then cuddles with me until I fall asleep. It is beyond frustrating.

  “Aren’t you staying for a while?” I ask as he stands next to my bed.

  “Of course I am, scoot over.” I push over to the edge of my twin bed. Cutter climbs in next to me with his jeans still on.

  “Do you want to watch some Deadliest Catch?” I ask him.

  “Sure do.” He says removing the cowboy hat I have now come to love.

  I turn on the T.V. and the DVD player. We have been re-watching the last season together almost every night.

  “What time does your flight leave in the morning?”

  “Six in the morning I think.” I had almost forgotten that I leave tomorrow for a horse show in Oregon. My Dad had called me earlier in the week and asked me if I would ride a four-year old mare named Kiki in the non-pro trail futurity. Lacey was riding another horse from the farm in the same class so he needed a second non-pro rider. I told him he could probably get a catch rider for Kiki but he insisted I would be better. I was excited to be going to a horse show though. I hadn’t been to one since being away at school and I missed it.

  “How many days will you be gone?” He asks looking a bit forlorn.

  “I’ll be back on Sunday.” I tell him with a sympathetic smile.

  “I’m going to miss you.”

  “I will miss you too.”

  “Don’t go falling for some other cowboy.” He says with a smile.

  “Never.” I tell him and kiss him lightly.

  Somewhere between kissing Cutter and watching Deadliest Catch I fall into a deep sleep.

  When I wake up Cutter is gone. He always leaves in the middle of the night. He never stays. I don’t really understand why but I have never asked him.

  I quickly shower and slap on some makeup. I make a mad dash to the front of the dorms just in time to meet the car service my Dad sent to pick me up. It’s of course a limo, which is totally embarrassing. Thankfully there is hardly anyone around this early in the morning to see i
t except for a few walk-of-shame randoms.

  The Pullman airport is tiny. There are only a few people milling around. The security consists of a couple of older gentlemen in chairs. I get right through security and right onto my plane. I wish all airports were like this.

  My flight is surprisingly short. I don’t even think we were in the air an hour. I land at the Portland airport right on time. I didn’t check any bags so I head on out to wait for my ride. Dad said someone would pick me up in the farm truck and bring me to the show grounds.

  When I step outside I see Lacey immediately. She is hanging out the window of the farm semi-truck. I can’t believe my Dad, or her Dad for that matter, let her take that thing.

  “Load up hooker! We have shit to do!” She yells at me from the driver side slapping the side of the door.

  I fling my bags inside and pull myself up into the giant rig. Lacey guns it of course and we go flying through the airport traffic. “Well it’s great to see you too Lace.”

  She just laughs.

  The ride to the show grounds takes less than the thirty minutes I’m sure it was supposed to take us. “Are we staying in a hotel room or did Dad bring the bus?”

  Besides the giant Bloomers horse trailer that has sleeping quarters nicer than most people’s homes, my Dad also has invested in a giant bus to travel in. It is totally awesome. It has leather sofas, huge flat screens and a queen size bed in the master bedroom. It has all the luxuries of home but on four wheels.

  “Your Dad brought the bus, but I talked him into putting up my old man so we can have a sleep over in the trailer.”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  We pull up in front of our six horse trailer with the farm logo on it. “Okay go toss your stuff in the trailer and then come on down the barn. We got our usual stalls up front.”

  “Great. See you in a few.” I tell her and climb down from the semi with my bags. As soon as I take a step back Lacey throws the truck in reverse and floors it. I just shake my head. That has trouble written all over it.

  I open the trailer door and step inside. I toss my bags on the couch next to the kitchen. I can tell Lacey has already been making herself at home. Her clothes are tossed all over the bed in front of the trailer.

  I change into my riding clothes and check to make sure my Dad packed all my show clothes. Much to my relief they are all hanging neatly in the closet. I grab my show boots out and tug them on my feet before I head down to the barn.

  “There’s my girl!” My Dad says coming up next to me and embracing me in a large hug.

  “Hi Dad.”

  “I’m so glad you could make it honey. I think you riding Kiki will make all the difference.” He says as we walk toward the mare’s stall.

  “Well let’s just hope we have a clean go tomorrow.” I open the stall door and go on in to pet Kiki. I like the dark black mare she is sweet and pretty talented. I know my Dad wants to sell her so he is hoping she does well at the show.

  “You’re going to have to beat me though, so good luck with that.” Lacey says grinning while carrying a saddle over to a blue roan gelding named Ryker.

  “Alright you two, why don’t you get practicing.” My Dad says shaking his head at Lacey and I.

  I saddle up Kiki and follow Lace to the practice pen. I’m relieved when I see parts of the trail course are up so we are able to still use them. I hop on Kiki and begin bending her each direction to loosen up her muscles from the long trailer ride.

  “So you left your man to come hang out with me huh?” Lacey says as she jogs Ryker over the poles that are laid out in an elaborate fan pattern.

  “He isn’t my man Lace we are just…” I pause because I don’t really know what Cutter and I are.

  “You are just totally screwed is what you are.” She lopes Ryker off and I know she is totally laughing at me.

  I practice over the poles with Kiki until I feel we have our spacing figured out. Trail is all about finding the right path. If you don’t find the right path or if you go off of it your entire pattern can be screwed. This is why some people hate trail, there is usually no way to redeem yourself. It is all or nothing.

  After I am done practicing I bring Kiki back to the stalls and start banding her mane. Lacey is across the aisle in Ryker’s stall doing the same but she has a head start on me. I start putting the tiny black rubber bands evenly spaced throughout Kiki’s mane.

  I get a little over half way done when I hear Lacey’s phone ring. I look up to see her grab it from her pocket and make a quick exit out of Ryker’s stall. That’s weird. Lacey has never one to worry if someone is listening to her conversation. I make a mental note to ask her about it later and I continue on banding Kiki.

  It is nearly midnight when I finally tuck myself in bed. Lacey is already in her bed asleep. I had been busy getting things ready for tomorrow. I guess I lost track of time. I only got a quick call to Cutter while I took a break for dinner. He was just heading out for a party at his fraternity. He told me he missed me and had asked if I missed him. I of course told him yes. We didn’t get to talk long though. I had tons to do. That is horse show life for you. It is lots of hard work and little rest, but I still love it.

  CHAPTER 14

  I wake up to Lacey’s alarm blaring inside the trailer. I moan and try to cover my head with my pillow.

  “Oh no you don’t. Wake up its show day!” Lacey yells. How anyone can be peppy at four in the morning is beyond me.

  “We don’t show until afternoon.” I groan.

  “Yes, but we have trail practice at six. So get up lazy bones.” Lacey says and tosses me a pop tart from the kitchen area.

  “Breakfast of champions?” I ask.

  “You know it. Get ready. I’ll see you down at the barn.”

  I’m thankful for the peace and quiet. I contemplate sinking back into my bed for a few more minutes of sleep but I think better of it and get up instead.

  Trail practice went perfectly and I even got to sneak back to the trailer for a quick nap before I had to show in the afternoon. Horse shows are a lot of hurry up and wait. When the trail class finally got under way I was happy I drew the last spot to go in the class. Lacey of course had drawn the first spot. Lacey’s go was phenomenal and I knew it was going to be the one to beat. She and Ryker didn’t hit a single pole. Her execution was flawless.

  When my turn came I had a tiny wave of nervousness. I’m not typically a nervous shower but I think it’s because I have had some time off. I wore my favorite trail outfit that is royal blue, white, and black. The jacket has thousands of crystals on it making me look like a total disco ball. The colors complemented Kiki’s dark coat perfectly. When we entered the pen we immediately found our path through the obstacles and stuck with it. We ended up having an awesome go.

  It is now time for them to announce the winner. Twenty horses entered the class. The lineup of horses and riders takes up most of the length of the arena. I stand next to Lacey and Ryker nervously.

  The announcer begins raddling off the placing’s starting at tenth. Lace and I wait patiently for our names to be called but they still haven’t. I get a pang of anxiety.

  “The second place horse and rider of your non-pro trail futurity taking home five thousand dollars is Lacey Cunningham aboard MS Ryker Me Bad.”

  I whoop and holler as Lace lopes Ryker out of the lineup to collect her prize. They snap Lace’s and Ryker’s picture in front of a giant check and they proceed to lug their winnings out of the arena.

  “Alright ladies and gentlemen your winner of the non-pro trail futurity, taking home seventy-five hundred dollars and an engraved saddle is Paige Vandenberg riding MS Just for Kicks.”

  I lope Kiki forward bending down patting her neck the entire time. We stand for our picture with our giant check and collect our cool new saddle. I couldn’t be happier with the mare. She did her job and then some today.

  When I come out of the end gate my Dad is talking to a few trainers. I know Kiki will likely be sol
d before I can even get her back to her stall. It makes me a bit sad to see her go, but I know she needs to find her forever home. I also know my Dad will not just sell her to the highest bidder; he will try to match her with the best person. He is scrupulous when it comes to finding homes for our training horses. My Dad has been known to even drop the price on a horse just to get it to the right owner.

  After we get the horses put away for the night my Dad takes us all out for a celebration dinner. Lace and I laugh and joke the entire time. Lace ribs me about getting first, she insists she and Ryker had a much better go than Kiki and I did. Lace is fiercely competitive and a second place win will only fuel her fire to beat me the next time out. At dinner my Dad tells me that Kiki and Ryker have both been sold. He fills us in on who bought the horses and what training barn they are going to. I am happy when he tells us the lady who bought both horses is a client of our trainer friend. The horses will only be moving south to Seattle and we will see them at most shows.

  When we are done with dinner Lace and I go back to the trailer to crash. I have another earlier flight in the morning, which means I need to catch some sleep. I try to call Cutter before I go to sleep but it goes straight to voicemail. I’m not too surprised it is almost eleven. He is probably at a party.

  My flight back is once again short. I get in pretty early in the morning. My Dad was going to send another car service to bring me back to the dorms but I assured him I had a ride. I couldn’t deal with that embarrassment again so I asked Millie to pick me up. I could have asked Cutter but since I couldn’t get ahold of him yesterday I didn’t get that chance.

  When I step out into the bright sun of eastern Washington I see Mills. She is waiting in her BMW.

  “Hey P!” She yells through the open passenger window.

  “Hey Mills! Thanks for picking me up.” I tell her as I jump in the passenger seat.

  “No problem. How was the horse show?”

  “I won with my horse and Lace got second.”