Love & Hate (Book One: Hate) Page 8

  “I’m not trying to run I’m just trying to put my pants back on.” Good job, keep it light and carefree.

  He still refuses to let me move. “I can feel that brain of yours working overtime to analyze this. I’m telling you right now to stop it. There is no explanation needed okay, just relax.” Uh, okay does that mean this is like a onetime deal or what then? Why do guys say women are the confusing ones?

  Against my better judgment I take his advice and try to relax. Cutter shifts his weight next to me so now we are spooning side by side. For a long time I sit their cradled by him listening to his breathing. I feel bad because I can tell he is still extremely turned on and has no way of seeking a release. I think about helping him out for a half a second but can’t muster the courage to make a move. As time ticks by I slowly fade off and I know Cutter is not far behind me.

  CHAPTER 11

  I wake up totally startled to a knocking sound on the window above my head. I shoot straight up to see what the noise is and I’m instantly shoved down. “Stay put Paige. I don’t want everyone seeing you naked.” Cutter says sternly as he covers me with some of our clothes. Again there is a knock on the window.

  “Uh, Cutter we need to get going. The camp is all packed up, but Millie wanted to talk to Paige first.” It is Tanner. My mind starts spazing out as I realize just how many people know I am locked in the truck with Cutter. God knows what they think we are doing in here.

  Cutter notices my silent melt-down. “Calm down, darling. I will handle it. Just put some clothes on.” I shake my head in agreement as he passes me my T-shirt and jeans. I quickly put them on. I notice though that Cutter opts to only slip on his jeans before he jumps out of the truck. I assume he is going to talk to Tanner.

  I am just working up the courage to follow him when the truck door opens and Millie hops in next to me. “So I see you and Cutter worked out your issues.” She says with a giant smile on her face. Well that is one way of putting it.

  “Yeah, I’m not so sure about that.” I try to evade her questioning look.

  “Well we all knew it was just a matter of time. Pretty sure the guys were taking bets on how long it would take before you guys either hooked up or killed each other. I picked kill each other, so damn it I lost.” This is yet another reason I like Millie so much. She isn’t going to come straight out and ask me what happened. She will just say some funny things and see if I want to talk about it, no pressure.

  “We didn’t exactly hook up.” I tell her. I have no idea why I felt the need to confess that but it felt better to set the record straight.

  “Well hopefully you two did release some of that sexual tension you were building up. Shit, it was making me jumpy just being around you all.”

  I laugh. I hadn’t realized it was that obvious to other people. I know I can feel the air thicken whenever Cutter and I are in the same space, but I didn’t know others are aware of it. “Yeah, I’m thinking it will be better now. I’m pretty sure it was just kind of a casual deal.”

  “Well as long as it was fun, then now worries, right?”

  “Yeah no worries.” Yeah right! I’m totally going to worry. I have no clue what is happening here.

  We chat for a few more minutes before we both hop out of the truck. Thankfully most of the group doesn’t seem to pay attention and we gather up the rest of the things to go home. Cutter is busy tearing down the tent Millie and I had slept in, or more like the tent I had slept in once. I pick up a couple of things I know are Cutter’s and throw them in the back of the truck.

  A few minutes later and we are completely packed and ready to go. Millie rides with Tanner like before. I secretly wanted to ask if I could ride back with them, uncertain how things would be with Cutter and me in the light of day. I decide to grow some lady balls though, as Lacey would say, and opt to endure it instead.

  We have been on the road just a short time when Cutter reaches over to turn the music down. “Paige, I know you are unsure what happened between us but I need you to trust me.”

  He can probably hear my brain spinning out as he sits next to me. I thought I was doing a pretty good job at appearing completely relaxed but apparently I am failing. I don’t really know what to say. Should I tell him I’m confused by all of this? I can’t find the courage to ask so a simple okay is all I say back to him instead.

  His eyes leave the rode and he looks over at me. I can see concern there. “Talk to me Paige. What is going on in that brain of yours?” Oh crap, it’s confession time.

  “I guess I’m just not really sure what is going on here. I mean if this was just a onetime deal that’s completely fine, I just would like to know. I guess if this is like you know casual or whatever.” Smooth Paige, just give him the green light to make you a booty call why don’t you?

  Cutter starts laughing, which gets on my nerves to say the least. Well screw you. There’s no need to laugh at me. You could just say no thank you. How bad will it hurt if I jump out of a moving truck on the highway?

  Sensing my anger, he looks over at me and he stops laughing instantly. Then out of nowhere he pulls the truck over on the side of the highway and throws it in park. Oh shit, I pissed him off. I’m glad I have my tennis shoes on because I think I’m going to be walking soon.

  He pivots in his seat to fully face me. “You have no idea do you?” Uh, what? Nope, I think it’s pretty clear I have no clue.

  “No idea about what?” I ask angrily.

  He exhales deeply. “There is nothing casual about this Paige. I want you and not just for one night.” Looking at him I notice his bright blue eyes have turned dark and stormy like the deep part of the ocean. I can see the concern in his face from earlier but there is also something else there, something vulnerable. Holy cow did he really just tell me that?

  “Oh” is all that comes out of my mouth. I am stunned and can’t find my words.

  “Stop trying to push me away. I’m not going anywhere. Do you understand?” Whoa. Is he asking for a relationship? Do I want that?

  “I’m not trying to. I’m just confused by all of this. Every time I think we are friends things go from bad to worse with us.”

  “I think I established last night I don’t want to just be your friend, darling.” He has that stupid sly grin on his face that makes my stomach feel like I am skydiving. I can’t help it, I smile back at him.

  “I know you are attracted to me Cutter. I get that.” I pause struggling to explain my feelings. “What I don’t understand is why?” Oh no, that was not supposed to come out. He doesn’t need to hear about my insecurities!

  “Why am I attracted to you? Did you just ask me that?” He seems pissed. No I totally did not just ask you that. I was only joking.

  I refuse to look at him so I look at the glove box in front of me. I think it’s time to be brutally honest here. “Yes, I have seen the other girls you have been with, I look nothing like them. I’m not tiny and I don’t look like a Barbie doll. ”

  “STOP.” He growls making me jump in my seat. “First, don’t you ever compare yourself to other women. You are stunning and I happen to love your curves. If I wanted someone else then I wouldn’t be spending my time with you. You are the person I want Paige, just you.”

  Before I can comprehend what is happening Cutter leans over the center console and kisses me. I let him kiss me. I lean over to meet his body and his tongue slides inside my mouth. I know I shouldn’t be so eager to trust him but when he kisses me all rational thought goes out the window.

  He slowly stops our kiss and pulls back just a few inches from my face to stare into my eyes. What I see there blows my mind. He is worried. I can see it in his eyes. He is trying to convince me of his feelings and I am totally not getting it, not until right this second. I grab the back of his head with my hands and force his mouth back to mine. I kiss him with desperation. I am completely frantic. I need him to understand that I finally get it. That I know now that he actually does like me, this is not some cruel joke or a onetim
e thing, no this is much bigger than that.

  I finally brake off our kiss so I can come up for air. He is totally grinning at me. “We should probably get going.” He moves back over to his side of the truck and puts it back in gear. I watch him drive thinking how utterly sexy he is. He never takes his eyes off the road just reaches over and grabs my hand placing it on the center console, threading his fingers threw mine. “That feels better.” He tells me with a wicked grin. My stomach does a little flip flop. I am falling hard and if I crash I know there is no way I will come out of this alive. This man has the ability to wreck me.

  CHAPTER 12

  “Happy Birthday Bestie!” Tess hollers through the phone at me.

  “Thanks Bestie.”

  It’s my Birthday, which just so happens to be on Halloween. I know scary right. I was born on the holiday known to frighten young children.

  “So what is that man of yours doing for you on your special day?”

  “Tess he isn’t my man. We haven’t really had that talk. We are just getting to know each other.”

  “Call it whatever you want, but you have a boyfriend.” She teases.

  “Alright, whatever you say.” I know I shouldn’t be cranky but I woke up in a bad mood. I had the worst dream ever the night before. I dreamt that Cutter was sleeping with another girl. I walked in on them. It was horrible. I have been in a foul mood ever since then. “I think there is a party at Cutter’s frat we are going to.”

  “What are you going as?” Tess loves Halloween, the fact that it is also her Best friend’s birthday makes it even more fun.

  “I am going to be a Grecian goddess. I found this amazing long black dress that has braided detail on the straps. I had to have it.” My dress is beautiful. It is long and black, with a deep V-shape in the front and in the back. The straps were intricately woven making it look authentically Grecian. I also found a beautiful braided leather headband to pair with it.

  “Oh…sounds beautiful!” She says.

  “What are your plans for the evening?”

  “I’m going to this house party with the guy I was telling you about.”

  “The guy from the dog park? The rocker guy?” Tess had met a guy while at the dog park with her bulldog puppy Bentley. Apparently their dogs hit it off and they have been meeting at the park to let them play almost every afternoon. I told her he was interested in her, but she repeatedly told me he wasn’t her type. He has tons of tattoos and is the lead singer of his rock band. He didn’t sound like her type, but something told me he was going to surprise us.

  “Yeah he invited me to this house party his bandmates are throwing. I said I would go.” She was trying to be nonchalant but I know her too well. I could tell the first time she told me about this guy that he is different.

  “Great! What are you going as?”

  “Don’t laugh….a bumble bee.”

  I can’t help it I totally laugh just picturing her in a giant bumble bee costume. “A bumble bee huh?”

  “It’s really cute. It’s totally not what you’re thinking. I found this really cute black and yellow bustier that goes with this black tutu thing that lights up. It is supper short and totally slutty but it’s still really cute.”

  Okay, that is sounding more like Tess. “You better send me pictures and I want to hear the minute Mr. Hot Rocker tries to put the moves on you. I know it is going to happen.”

  “We aren’t like that. We are just friends because our dogs are in love.” She tells me.

  “Yeah sure blame it on the dogs. You totally want him and I know it!”

  “Whatever.” She says trying to stop my onslaught of teasing.

  “Alright I better go. I have to get ready for this party and my hair is going to take forever.” I tell her.

  “Okay well, have a blast with your non-boyfriend, boyfriend. I’ll call you tomorrow.” She says and hangs up.

  I love Tess but she can be damn stubborn at times. I know she likes this guy but she is putting walls up. Let’s just hope Mr. Rocker is the guy to break them down.

  I finish my hair and makeup in record time. I did my hair in loose waves like a planned and it looked great with my braided headband. For my makeup, I did it all very shimmery with natural highlights. I did thick eyeliner that complimented my almond shaped eyes. I slipped on a beautiful cuff bracelet I had found at the store to finish my outfit off. I must admit I did look like a Grecian goddess.

  I hear a knock at my door and I know it must be Cutter. I open the door and my breath catches. Cutter is dressed in wranglers, a plaid flannel shirt, cowboy boots and a perfectly shaped cowboy hat. Holy hell!

  “Howdy Mam, I heard it’s your Birthday.” He says and tips his hat at me. I think I might faint. Cowboys aren’t usually my thing, weird I know since I ride horses and all, but the Cutter Daniels brand of cowboy I am most definitely into.

  “Where did you get the hat?” I have a pet peeve about cowboy hats. I hate it when they are not perfectly creased. It just straight up annoys me.

  “I had some help.” He says with a sly grin.

  “Oh really? Who was that?”

  “I can’t tell you.” He says grinning at me.

  “Lacey?” I ask.

  “Not telling. Are you ready?” He says letting his eyes roam over my body. I shudder realizing he is looking at how low my dress dips in the back.

  “Yes I’m ready.” I grab my black clutch from my desk and proceed out the door.

  “You look stunning Paige.” He says watching me walk in front of him. I’m glad I’m in front of him so he can’t see me blush.

  “So we are going to the frat?” I ask him as we ride in the elevator.

  “Yup.” He is still looking at me and it’s making me feel self-conscious.

  “What are you looking at?” I finally get the nerve to ask him.

  “You” he says in a dark voice which makes me feel a little dizzy. Oh, I have heard that tone before.

  We arrive at the frat and it is dead upstairs. There are a couple of guys milling around but for the most part it is empty which I find very odd since its Halloween and they are having a mixer tonight.

  “Where is everyone?” I ask Cutter as we walk through the house.

  “Hmm… I don’t know.” He says guiding me toward the basement.

  We walk down the sticky beer stained stairs. When we reach the bottom I can see the giant double doors are shut and I don’t hear any music. What the heck is going on? Where is everyone?

  Cutter proceeds past me and pushes the double doors open.

  “SURPRISE!” I hear as I walk into the basement. I look around the basement and see most of my sorority and pretty much all of Cutter’s fraternity.

  I turn back to look at Cutter who is beaming with a giant smile. “You did this?”

  “Yup. Tanner and Millie helped of course.”

  I don’t think about it. I rush to him and kiss him passionately. I can hear the whoops and hollers behind me but I could care less. I love that he did this for me and I need him to know that.

  Cutter pulls back from our kiss. I’m sure he is aware we are not alone. “Happy Birthday darling.” He says and kisses me back softly.

  My head is swimming with thoughts of what I really wanted to be doing with Cutter if we were alone. I know I need to stop kissing him and go greet everyone but I don’t want to. I could kiss this man forever.

  “Baby we need to stop, we have an audience.” He whispers softly in my ear as he pulls back from me.

  “Fine.” I whine.

  Cutter ignores my little tantrum and simply threads his hand through mine pulling me into the crowd with him.

  Pretty much all my college friends are here. Even the Katies have come to celebrate my birthday. Millie is the first one to great me.

  “Happy Birthday P!” She screams over the music and wraps her arms around my neck. Mills has chosen to dress in a stewardess outfit. The dark navy skirt is super short and her white button up shirt is definitely working
over-time at keeping the girls caged in. She topped the whole outfit off with a really cute polka dot navy scarf tied around her neck and her very own silver wings pinned on her shirt.

  “Thanks Mills. Love the outfit!” I tell her as she hugs me.

  “Oh thanks. I’m working on getting into the mile high club if you know what I mean.” She says nudging my shoulder.

  I laugh at Mills bluntness. “Well good luck with that.” I tell her and continue on through the crowd of people.

  I see Cutter across the way near the bar. He is talking to a group of guys in his pledge class. They are all laughing and joking about something. As I watch him his eyes find mine. His smile changes and I see that hunger that is always there when he looks at me. My cheeks pink instantly and look at the ground. The way he affects me blows my mind. Just a simple look from him can turn me on.

  “Hey Paige, Happy Birthday.” I look up to find Laney Davis staring back at me. She is dressed as a baseball player. She has on white tight shorts and the signature high socks. Her socks have pink stripes and her top is a matching hot pink. Her brown hair is pulled in a ponytail under her baseball hat. Laney is your classic beauty. She is obviously athletic because she is very fit. The tightness of her outfit leaves little to the imagination, showing off all of her perfection. The guys must agree because I have noticed several eyeing her while she stands next to me.

  “Thanks Laney.” I say a little confused by her presence at my party since we aren’t really friends.

  “Cutter invited me.” She blurts out. She must have seen my confusion.

  “Well I’m glad you could make it.” I tell her honestly. I know Tess doesn’t like her but Laney has never done anything to me.

  “Yeah, me too. I haven’t seen much of Cutter since we have been at school and I miss him.” I know I shouldn’t feel immediately jealous but I do. I know that Cutter and Laney are friends but there is just something in the way she says it that frankly pisses me off.