Love & Hate (Book One: Hate) Page 5

  “What’s up, Katie?”

  “Good morning Paige. Hey I was just coming back from my class and I saw there was a sweater folded up with a note with your name on it in front of your door. I didn’t want anyone to steal it so I thought I would let you know it was out here.” She says looking cheerful as always.

  “Oh thanks.” She hands me the sweater.

  “No problem. Happy Monday!” She says back at me before I close the door. How anyone can be that peppy all the time blows my mind.

  I look down at the note confused. It is from Cutter.

  Cutter had been outside my door this morning? I hadn’t even noticed I lost my sweater. I wonder where he found it. Maybe it had fallen down behind his seat or something. It was nice of him to return it.

  As I’m walking to my class my phone rings with a number I have memorized by heart but have refused to program in my phone. I answer it saying “hello.”

  “Hey Paige.” He says coolly. There is just something about that voice that makes my blood rush threw my head making me feel dizzy. I stop walking so I concentrate on the ensuing conversation.

  “Hi. Who is this?” Why did you do that? You know that is going to piss him off!

  “You know who this is Paige.” He says completely unaffected. Crap, he totally saw through my little game.

  “Cutter? Oh hey, what’s up?” Smooth recovery Paige.

  “I just wanted to see how you were doing and make sure you found your sweater this morning.” Umm… totally weird. Okay, don’t freak out, just answer like you don’t care at all.

  “Yes I did. Thanks. How are you?” Good, deep breath. You got this girl!

  “I’m fine. Hey, I need a favor.” Interesting, Mr. We Can’t Hang Out needs a favor. What in the bloody hell could he possibly want?

  “What is it?” I am totally curious now.

  “I know your prelaw and well I have to take business law 200 and I’m kind of struggling with it. I was wondering if you might help me understand some of the concepts.”

  I don’t even think about it. “Sure, when do you want to meet up.” Wow, you are ridiculous. He doesn’t even want to be your friend and here you are going to help him with his schoolwork. Pathetic!

  “Can we meet up tonight? I can come to your place at about eight. Does that work for you?”

  “Yeah, that works perfect.” Oh man I am so screwed up. There is no way I’m going to concentrate on my classes today.

  Cutter is supposed to be here in fifteen minutes and I’m totally flipping out. I have gone through three and half outfits. My closet looks like a tornado hit it. I have settled on wearing my black Lulu Lemon yoga pants and my hot pink and turquoise North Face hoodie. I decided to go casual since I didn’t want to seem overly excited. I want him to think this is no big deal. Heaven forbid he knows how completely on edge he makes me feel.

  At exactly eight Cutter knocks on my door. I open it and let him in, telling him to sit wherever he wants. Since I have a spacious corner room there was plenty of space for me to add a desk on the left side of my room where my roommate’s bed would have been. He sits down at one end of the square black desk and begins spreading his study materials out.

  “Do you want anything to drink?” I’m totally flustered.

  “Sure. Whatever you have is fine.” I hand him a soda and sit down next to him.

  “So what is it you are struggling with?” I ask trying to get straight to the point so I don’t say something embarrassing.

  “I guess I just don’t know how to study for this class. The teacher calls on you and then asks you all sorts of questions about the cases. It’s not like a normal lecture.” He sounds frustrated.

  “Yeah it’s called the Socratic method. It can be brutal if you aren’t prepared for it.” I say simply.

  “No kidding. I’ve been trying to get a feel for what the professor wants but I’m just not sure if it’s correct.”

  “Well, the good news is there is a sure fire way of preparing for class. The bad news is it takes time to get used to it.”

  I proceed to show him how to brief cases. I instruct him how to highlight the pertinent facts of the case and look for the rule of law. I tell him it will take a while before he really gets the hang of looking for the rule and we should probably practice a few more times. He seems to agree with this. We work until it turns very dark outside.

  “I should probably go and let you get some sleep.” He says looking over at me.

  “Yeah, wow it’s getting late.” I say as I watch him start to pack up his things.

  “So we will meet up again Thursday afternoon?” He asks as we both stand up to head toward the door.

  “Sure, will four work for you?”

  “Yes that’s perfect. I’ll meet you here.” He says as I stand with my hand on the door knob.

  “I really appreciate you helping me Paige. You are really good at this law stuff.” He says looking at me softly. I can feel my cheeks start to turn pink.

  “I think I just have a gift for it.” I tell him looking at the ground trying to avoid the heat from his eyes on me.

  “Well it explains why you are so good at arguing all the time.” He says with laughter in his voice.

  “Hey!” I say and jokingly slap his arm in protest. I’m totally unprepared for what is about to happen. Cutter in one swift movement grabs my hand and slides me against the back of the door. I have no way to escape him now. He is so close I can feel the tension thick between us.

  “I wouldn’t start something you can’t finish darling.” He growls with that devilish grin on his face. Holy Hell, he totally just called me darling! Is he flirting with me?

  I stand there in utter shock with my hands limp at my sides. Somehow he slides me out of the way of the door and opens it. Just as he is going to close it he says “See you Thursday Paige” and winks at me.

  I just stand there like a damn idiot staring in disbelief. Finally, after the door clicks shut I snap out of the haze and my mind goes flying into overdrive. The hamster is totally spinning out on the wheel when a rational thought comes to me; call Tess she will know what to do.

  “Tess, I’m in full on crisis mode.” I tell her in my panicked state.

  “Okay, calm down and just breathe lady. You are freaking me out. Just slow down and tell me what’s happening” She says totally confused.

  I take a deep breath and I tell Tess everything. I tell her all about the raft trip, the drive home, the field party and now our study session. I know she will think some of my choices are stupid but she won’t tell me that now because it won’t change anything.

  “Alright, this is how I see it. I think he has a thing for you. It’s clear he is fighting it though.” She tells me.

  “You really think he has feelings for me?” I ask astonished.

  “Yes I do. I think it’s pretty clear he has an attraction to you. Look Paige, he could have easily gone and gotten help from a tutor or better yet why didn’t he ask someone in his frat. It’s not like business law isn’t a common elective.”

  “That’s true, I hadn’t thought of that. So he is deliberately trying to spend time with me?”

  “It seems like it. But Paige, before you get all excited about this you need to remember whatever feelings he does have he is fighting them. Perhaps the better question is why.” This is why I love Tess. She refused to let me get overly optimistic about something she knew had the ability to completely crush me. She was a realist where I was an eternal optimist.

  “You’re right. This is why I called you. I knew you would set me straight.” I tell her appreciatively.

  “That’s what I’m here for. Now I need to get some sleep it’s the middle of the night.”

  “Oh crap. I have super early class tomorrow. Okay, thanks for your help. I love you.” I tell her.

  “Love you too!” She says and disconnects our call. It takes me hours before I finally drift off to sleep.

  CHAPTER 8

  Cutter and I studie
d Thursday afternoon in my dorm room. He walked in wearing the most delicious looking light denim jeans and a Seahawks sweatshirt. I had on my favorite jeans and my black V-neck shirt. We immediately jumped into reviewing the briefs he had done the day before. It seemed he was getting a better grasp on his business law class. This made me happy for him but sad that our time together was coming to an end. We were just finishing up going over our last brief for the day when Cutter asked me what my plans were later.

  “Oh I was just going to hang out and watch some Deadliest Catch. I really like that show.”

  “Me too, those guys are crazy. Do you want some company?” Whoa, totally not prepared for him to ask that, but this is a good thing, right?

  “Yeah that would be great.” I say as I go over to turn on my flat screen to the correct channel. Crap, where are we going to sit? The only options are my desk or my bed. Dorm rooms are so not designed for entertaining crushes.

  “I would love to go up to Alaska someday.” He casually states as he makes his way over to sit on my bed. He grabs a bunch of pillows and places them against the headboard so he can recline against them. Well, just go ahead and make yourself at home, but he does look dang good in my bed.

  I don’t know what to do. I start fidgeting, putting stuff away on my desk and going in my closet to act like I am grabbing something.

  “Paige, sit down. I promise I won’t bite.” He says in a gruff tone as he watches me bounce around my room like a ping pong ball.

  “Oh sorry, I was just trying to pick up some things before the show started.” I totally lie. I decided to do what he did and prop a bunch of pillows against my headboard and sit down next to him. I left a considerable distance in between us making sure we don’t accidently touch.

  The show came on and we were both enthralled. We watch back to back episodes. I notice it is dark outside but Cutter doesn’t seem to be moving anytime soon. About half way through the second episode I start to relax and slump down against the pillows instead of sitting straight up like a robot. Cutter seems to not care at all; he is now lying on his side closing in on that distance barrier I had established earlier.

  “Well I should probably get going it’s starting to get late.” He says as pushes off from the bed to leave.

  “Yeah it’s getting late.” I say trying to hide my disappointment. I follow him to the door.

  “Thanks for all your help Paige, I really appreciate it. Hey, are you going to the party tomorrow night? Our houses are having a mixer I think.”

  “I haven’t decided, but I doubt it.” I think back to my first mixer at his house and how horrible that turned out.

  Cutter must have picked up on where my thoughts went. “Paige, I said we shouldn’t hang out. Not that I don’t want to hang out.” Well if we aren’t hanging out then why are you over at my place right now watching T.V. with me?

  “Fine.” I snap like a stubborn child and begin to open the door for him signaling just how over this conversation I am.

  “Look, I want to be your friend. I know I have done a crappy job of showing you that, but I would very much like it if we could be friends.” He says as he rakes his hands through his hair. So now he wants to be my friend. Probably just so I can help him with his damn homework.

  “Sure, we can be friends Cutter.” I tell him looking at the door.

  “Does that mean you will come to the mixer tomorrow?” There is a hint of a smile playing at the edges of his lips.

  “Yes, I will come.” I respond. Why is he so insistent I come to this party? He had made it clear he didn’t want me at his frat.

  “Great, I’ll see you tomorrow night.” What the heck was that all about? Well, I better call Millie and make sure she is going to this party, because there is no way I’m going without a wing woman.

  When I talk to Millie, she informs me that the party has a theme. It is Mafia Wedding, whatever the heck that is. She tells me to just wear something like a character on The Sopranos would wear or something a girl on Jersey Shore would wear. Alright, I understand this theme a bit more now. Millie also tells me that the upperclassman will draw a name of a freshman to be selected as the bride for this crazy affair and the frat will draw a name of a freshman guy to be the groom. This is way more involved than I originally thought. I can’t quite understand fraternities and sororities obsession with themed parties.

  I chose to wear a tight black lacey dress with some crazy high heels. I pulled my long thick straight hair into a high ponytail on top of my head. I added some really big dangly gold earrings. I did my makeup really dramatic with thick mascara and some obnoxiously long fake eyelashes. For, being way overdone I think I look great.

  It was about eight o’clock before I get to the sorority house, all that makeup took time. When I walk into the foyer it is overcrowding with girls in crazy outfits. The common theme besides black seems to be tightness. I was starting to understand why the frat would agree to such a theme.

  “Alright ladies, we are going to draw a name of a freshman who will become our bride this evening so get excited.” One of the upperclassmen says from atop the giant staircase. I can barely see through the crowd but I can just make out a few girls holding up a giant bowl which obviously holds all the freshman names. Oh Lord, please don’t let her pull my name!

  “And our bride-to-be is Tenley!” The older girl says amongst whoops and hollers. “Tenley come on up here so these ladies can help you change into your wedding dress.” She says as Tenley struggles to make her way toward the stairs. Tenley is stunningly gorgeous. She is skinny, like size zero skinny. She has a natural tan with beautiful long blonde hair and crystal blue eyes. Just looking at her could make any girl feel self-conscious.

  A few minutes later Tenley emerges with the group of older girls who have whisked her away to help her change. She now is wearing an ivory lace gown that has a full cutout in the back that dips all the way to the top of her butt. It is very short and it is extremely tight. Tenley wears the dress like it is custom made just for her. Whoever her Groom is will totally loose his mind when he sees her in that dress.

  The basement of the fraternity is jammed packed. In the front of the basement there is an alter thing setup with two giant chairs that look like thrones. The music is pumping in the basement so hard I can barely think. I am glad I have Millie to hang out with; it makes me feel less awkward. I am nervously looking around for Cutter but haven’t been able to spot him yet.

  “You want to go get drinks? They are serving champagne.” Millie says pointing to the bar.

  “Yeah sure that sounds great.” We start making our way over to the bar.

  “Hey Paige!” I look over and see Tanner serving drinks behind the bar.

  “Oh hey Tanner, I didn’t realize this was your house.” I say to him slightly embarrassed I never made the connection.

  “Yup, this is my house. I don’t get to be here much though, since I work at the bar most weekends.” He tells me. “So what are you ladies drinking tonight?” He asks looking over at Millie. Oh shoot I should have introduced them already.

  “This is my friend Millie.” I don’t even think he hears me he just keeps staring at Mills.

  “We will have champagne. Thanks Tanner, it was nice to meet you.” Millie says demurely. Interesting, is there a potential love connection here?

  Tanner gets our drinks and we chat for a few more minutes before the music stops and I see the crowd starting to focus on the front of the room. There is a tall older guy with dark features holding a mic. I assume he is the fraternity president.

  “Okay, ladies and gentlemen it is time to present our bride and groom for the evening. May I have our lovely bride, Miss Tenley Connor to the front?” I see the crowd part to allow Tenley to sashay her way to the front. The boys started to howl the minute they see her and her dress.

  “Alright, alright and now can I have our lucky groom for the evening, Mr. Cutter Daniels.” The announcer says as I proceed to spit my champagne out all over myself.
Oh shit!

  Millie turns to me looking concerned. She asks if I’m okay. I tell her it’s fine that I was just caught off guard. I know she isn’t buying it but it isn’t her nature to push so she just allows me to lie. I watch as Cutter makes his way to the front. He is dressed in black dress slacks and a crisp white button up dress shirt with the sleeves up. The top four or five buttons of his dress shirt are undone and you can see his tan chest. He has a black bowtie dangling open from the collar of his shirt. He is so handsome it is hard to even look at him. The girls in the crowd all start to howl in appreciation. This is going to suck!

  “Okay, now that we have our bride and groom up to the front let’s get this ceremony started.” The announcer says excitedly as he pushes Tenley and Cutter together. He starts rambling on about young love and some other stuff I can’t even comprehend right now because I’m totally freaking out. My chest feels tight and I feel like I can’t catch my breath. Everything that is unfolding in front of me is going in agonizing slow motion.

  “I now pronounce you mafia bride and groom. Cutter, man you can totally kiss your hot bride.” Mr. Announcer says and steps out of the way so the crowd can get a full view of the couple. I take in a sharp breath and watch as Cutter takes Tenley’s face in his hands and kisses her lips. He is cradling her face as if they have been lovers for years and they can’t get enough of each other. Tenley seems to really enjoy it deepening the kiss. She throws her leg over his hip letting her already short-ass dress creep up. Her dress goes up so high on her thigh you can now see her underwear. My head feels like it is spinning out of control. I can feel Millie looking at me but I can’t find my words to tell her I need to leave.

  “Come on Paige, we need to get you out of here before you pass out.” Millie says as she grabs my arm and pulls me through the crowd. Millie drags me out of the basement and to the front of the house. I hadn’t noticed I was crying until Millie starts telling me to take slow deep breaths.